Ready to pop the question to that special someone, but you have no idea how to do it? Marriage proposals can be as elaborate as sky-written messages and entire billboards of grander to as simple as an engagement ring wrapped as a holiday gift. The possibilities for settings, props, themes, speeches, crowds, clothing, and overall hoopla is endless. The sky, in this case, quite literally is the limit. It’s no wonder that you likely have no idea how to propose. Before we get into some must-know tips to proposals, it’s important to understand the statistics on proposals.
Statista conducted a survey in 2015 that asked whether Valentine’s Day proposals are cliché. Over 68% of the respondents thought it was somewhat to very cliché.
Time Magazine published a VoucherCloud study of male and female respondents over 21-years-old. Respondents were asked to list all factors that had contributed to them rejecting a marriage proposal, and the top five results were:
- Unromantic setting (67%)
- Didn’t like the ring (53%)
- Didn’t like the words said during the proposal (51%)
- Didn’t trust the relationship (39%)
- Afraid of commitment (36%)
Huffington Post published a study by the University of California, Santa Cruz, a liberal-leaning college. This study found that two-thirds of heterosexual female and male respondents said they’d definitely want the man to be the proposer, with only 2.8 percent of women “kind of” feeling like they’d want to propose and absolutely no men wanting to be the recipient of a proposal. Romance was the number one reason when asked to explain their answers.
Must-Know Tips For Proposing
Forget about how to lists that try to walk you through “a perfect proposal.” Throw all the “best proposal” lists out the window. Why? Because, unless your intended spouse is identical in personality to the creator of said lists, then they’re likely leading you to become a statistic in failed or disastrous proposals. Now, for some tips that will actually get you on the right track to finding your own unique perfect proposal for your own unique future fiancé.
Tip 1: To Thine Own Self Be True
Ponder deeply if this proposal is the right move, at the right time, and with the right person. You’ll need to ask yourself some questions about you, your partner, and the both of you as a unit.
- Is the relationship one of mutual love and respect?
- Are you able to give and receive unconditional love?
- Together, do you make each other feel empowered, stronger, healthier?
- Do you support or accept each other’s flaws, obligations, and permanent life points?
- Has love been a verb in your relationship? Love is easily used as an adjective for a feeling, but the true test is in putting the word to use. Showing vs. saying.
- Can you not imagine a more ideal partner?
- Neither of you have any hesitations on the timing or progression of the relationship, right?
If the answer is yes, then you’re already on your way to a successful proposal. Picking the right person to ask, at the right time, and for the right reasons makes or breaks a proposal.
Tip 2: Know Who You’re Potential Future Fiancé Is And Isn’t
Setting, overall grandeur or simplicity, and delivery has little to do with what’s cliché or novel. It’s about relativity, specifically relativity to your unique loved one. Sure 68% of respondents think Valentine’s day proposals are cliché, but is your future fiancé in the 68% … or is she in the remainder who think it’s a cute idea?
One of the biggest mistakes men make is in planning a proposal around popular opinion or what family members and friends have done, not around the person they’re proposing.
So, think about your loved one when it comes to purchasing the style of ring, words that would resonate and matter to them specifically, a meaningful setting, and whether they’re private or would want a certain audience.
Ring choice was one of the top reasons women say no to proposals, right? But, the real question is why? Think about this: If your loved one is a earthy soul with a passion for saving the planet, do you really expect her to accept a proposal wasting jet fuel to sky-write her name as you stoop down with a ring that would feed a starving country for a week?
It’s these types of attention to details that the intended will notice, not whether you’re nervous or flub words.
Tip 3: Speak From The Heart
Whatever words are used to convey your desire to marry your loved one, make sure that they’re meaningful and heartfelt.
Nerves, being shy, or just lacking in verbal elegance can often lead suitors to turn to the internet or friends to compose a proposal speech. The problem is that this will always lack authenticity. Why? Your partner likely knows you just as well as you know them. They will be able to tell that those words are read more so than heartfelt.
Take the time to sit quietly until your heart and mind lead you to the right words, which may take more than one sitting. Your right words may be just a single sentence or a detailed profession of love. Either way, your intended fiancé will feel the thought, energy, and love put into it if it comes from you alone.